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Welcome to the Dope 1 Liner Awards Show
After reading parts of Issa Rae’s monologue as the host for the CFDA Awards, I’ve decided that there needs to be an awards show for people who can deliver dope 1-2 line commentary.
This is the part of Issa Rae’s monologue that is award worthy:
“I’m about as fashionable as Kanye is black, only when it’s convenient. That joke was my choice, just like slavery.”
For anyone who thinks I’m simply joking, I’m not. Here are the five reasons:
- Being succinct is an art form. Try to explain to me the unique quality of an avocado. Yep, you probably can’t do it, but a dope 1 line linguist could.
- People are dumb. Some people think Wakanda is a place they can find on a map. Wakanda may be forever, but it is also imaginary.
- Dope 1 Liners are more powerful. The more words you use to explain your point, the weaker the argument. Seriously, if it takes you a paragraph to explain why Kanye’s slavery comment was anti-black, then I’m accusing you of getting liposuction and having man boobs. Plus, I fell asleep when you started the second sentence.
- Dope 1 Liners cut down on the amount of time we’re arguing at the dinner table. Give a dope 1 liner, shut up your opponent and let’s eat. My macaroni and cheese was getting cold.
- Dope 1 liners are enlightening and confusing at the same time. A dope 1 liner gives you the sense that you’ve learned something but you’re not quite sure what it is. I like this feeling. It reminds me of the time my Hampton professor tried to explain the black bourgeoisie. I was intrigued yet confused AF.
Here are 5 People that I’d like to recommend for the Dope 1-2 Liners awards. (In no particular order…)
- Issa Rae
- Dave Chappelle
- Chris Rock
- Lena Waithe
- Wanda Sykes
For the inaugural awards show, I nominate Issa Rae to win the award because she inspired the show. Good night. God bless and all niggas are stars. If you don’t know what the last five words means, look it up. I am not using the N word inappropriately.
Peace and Love,